The White House Bible Study Group

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According to the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) and Newsweek magazine, every Wednesday, some of the most powerful people in Washington, DC meet in a conference room to conduct a bible study.

You can review the full news stories here:

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-43534724

https://www.newsweek.com/white-house-bible-group-led-pastor-anti-gay-anti-women-anti-catholic-881860

Vice-President Mike Pence, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, Energy Secretary Rick Perry and before being fired by Trump, Attorney General Jeff Sessions are among the regular attendees.

According to the news sources a total of 10 cabinet members are “sponsors” of the White House bible study group.The White House bible study sessions last between 60 and 90 minutes. The leader of the White House bible study group is Ralph Drollinger, a pastor and president of Capitol Ministries, an organization which aims to “evangelize elected officials and lead them toward maturity in Christ.”

Drollinger has sparked controversy in the past for his views on women, Catholicism and opposition to same-sex relationships. Arguing that women and men have “different roles,” Drollinger claimed in a BBC News interview:

“There is a prohibition of female leadership in marriage, and female leadership in the church. And those are clear in Scripture… it doesn’t mean, in an egalitarian sense, that a woman is of lesser importance.”

Drollinger has also said:

“Homosexuality and same-sex ceremonies are illegitimate in God’s eyes. His word is repetitive, perspicuous [clearly expressed], and staid on the subject.”

Confidential sources have provided a detailed listing of the “Trump Ten Commandments” discussed during the weekly White House Bible Study meetings. The Trump Ten Commandments are reported to be:

1st TRUMP COMMANDMENT: Thou shall have no other Gods before Trump.

The one and only person allowed to teach this Bible Study course is Trump himself because he believes he is God. Trump’s book “The Art of the Deal” is used as the bible in the course. Attendees have a hard time reading their autograph copies because all the pages are stuck together with smears of the “special sauce” from McDonalds used on Big Macs.

2nd TRUMP COMMANDMENT: Thou Shall Not Make False Idols That Are Not Trump.

All White House staff must carry 3-inch gold sprayed painted plastic statue of Trump with “small hands” that they are required to worship each day. No other idols are allowed in the White House. Rudy Giuliani has led this Bible study on this commandment for a small fee of $5,000 per hour with the money “funneled through” the Michael Cohen’s former law firm account. While Giuliani lectures, Trump himself stands in front of the mirror saying prayers to himself while eating McDonald’s cheese burgers in the private quarters, all the while FOX News blares in the background on TV.

3rd TRUMP COMMANDMENT: Thou Shall Not Take The Name Of Lord Trump Your God In Vain.

Former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson use to teach this class until he was fired by Trump while Trump sat on a toilet because Tillerson referred to Trump as a “f…ing moron”. Chief of Staff John Kelly took over the class until he called Trump an “idiot” and Kelly has also left the White House. Like Chief of Staff, Trump is having a hard time finding anyone who works for him to teach this class who has not called him an idiot or a moron.

4th TRUMP COMMANDMENT: Remember the Sabbath Day, To Keep It Holy, Unless Every Day Is The Trump Sabbath.

This Bible study class has been cancelled until further notice from the President in that in his mind every day at the White House is the sabbath day to worship Donald Trump.

5th TRUMP COMMANDMENT: Thou Shall Honor Your Father Trump and Your Step Mother.

Eric Trump, Ivanka Trump and Donald Trump Jr. are all trying to teach First Lady Melania Trump this commandment. Melania is said to keep citing quotes from old notebooks from all former Mrs. Trumps.

6th TRUMP COMMANDMENT: Thou Shall Not Kill, Unless You Are President Trump.

This Trump Commandment has its origins from when Trump said “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters.” Michael Cohen, the president’s fixer, use to teach this commandment taking “anyone out” Trump wanted, until Cohen was indicted, plead guilty and sentenced to 3 years in jail for lying to congress. President of the National Rifle Association Wayne La Pierre offers a substitute class for credit entitled “People Kill People, Not Assault Rifles”.

7th TRUMP COMMANDMENT: Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery, Unless You Have A Really Good Prenuptial.

Stormy Daniels teaches this commandment class using over 5,000 rough drafts of confidentiality agreements Trump has used to settle all his extra marital affairs. Stormy Daniels is said to use a pole teaching the class as she spins around answering any and all questions as she sings “I Got You Babe”.

8th TRUMP COMMANDMENT: Thou Shall Not Steal And Not Say It Is A Campaign Donation.

Paul Manafort, Trump’s former campaign manager, was teaching this class until he was thrown in jail after being tried and convicted of federal crimes but he is trying to offer televised classes from federal prison. As a backup, the White House has asked over 3,000 students of Trump University to teach this commandment. However, there are no takers with all awaiting refunds from the settlement in the fraud lawsuit filed against Trump.

9th TRUMP COMMANDMENT: Thou Shall Not Lie, But Make Sure You Do You Lie When You Get Caught.

Former Presidential fixer Michael Cohen and former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn use to teach this class. The only ones that are now allowed to teach this class are Russian President Vladimir Putin, Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Kellyanne Conway. Former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn was scheduled to teach this class, but he cancelled after his sentencing in Federal Court on charges that he lied to the FBI were delayed. Special Counsel Robert Mueller has subpoenaed all the course materials.

10th TRUMP COMMANDMENT: Thou Shall Not Covet What Is Trump’s.

Kim Jong-Un and President Donald Trump are trying decide who will lead this study class as they await word who gets the “Nobel Peace Prize”. Two awards have already been cast in radioactive “yellow cake” by the Nobel Peace Prize Committee, one in the shape of “LITTLE BOY” and the other in the shape of “FATMAN”, the nicknames given to the two atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japan at the end World War II.

The Nobel Prize committee is said to be conflicted as to who gets the “FAT MAN” trophy and who gets the “LITTLE MAN” trophy calling it the closest call they have ever had in recent history making the awards. The Nobel Committee is hoping to take the measurements of Kim’s and Trump’s hands and wastes as tie breakers.

This is a continuing story and further reports will be made as the White House tweets continue and as conviction and sentencings occur.

DISCLAIMER: Any resemblance this blog article has to the truth is only a coincidence.

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About

Pete Dinelli was born and raised in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He is of Italian and Hispanic descent. He is a 1970 graduate of Del Norte High School, a 1974 graduate of Eastern New Mexico University with a Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration and a 1977 graduate of St. Mary's School of Law, San Antonio, Texas. Pete has a 40 year history of community involvement and service as an elected and appointed official and as a practicing attorney in Albuquerque. Pete and his wife Betty Case Dinelli have been married since 1984 and they have two adult sons, Mark, who is an attorney and George, who is an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT). Pete has been a licensed New Mexico attorney since 1978. Pete has over 27 years of municipal and state government service. Pete’s service to Albuquerque has been extensive. He has been an elected Albuquerque City Councilor, serving as Vice President. He has served as a Worker’s Compensation Judge with Statewide jurisdiction. Pete has been a prosecutor for 15 years and has served as a Bernalillo County Chief Deputy District Attorney, as an Assistant Attorney General and Assistant District Attorney and as a Deputy City Attorney. For eight years, Pete was employed with the City of Albuquerque both as a Deputy City Attorney and Chief Public Safety Officer overseeing the city departments of police, fire, 911 emergency call center and the emergency operations center. While with the City of Albuquerque Legal Department, Pete served as Director of the Safe City Strike Force and Interim Director of the 911 Emergency Operations Center. Pete’s community involvement includes being a past President of the Albuquerque Kiwanis Club, past President of the Our Lady of Fatima School Board, and Board of Directors of the Albuquerque Museum Foundation.